Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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