you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
