i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
