i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
