Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
