i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
