I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am one with the molecules
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
