He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
