So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
