i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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