I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
