roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
