dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
