Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
