So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
