but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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