**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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