Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
