Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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