I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
