You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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