I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
