Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
