Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
