Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
