i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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