before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
