They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize