so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
