i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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