Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
