Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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