Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
