garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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