i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
