I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
