Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
