none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
