Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
