Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
