so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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