I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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