be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
