The best revenge is premature balding
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
