I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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