singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
