I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize