An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
BRING THE BAGELS
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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