I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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