its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
