I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
