yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
