just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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