goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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