Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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