I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
