I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize