One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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