Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
