There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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