Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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