You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
